Testimony of Redemption and Calling: A Journey of Restoration and Healing
I am a Southern-born daughter of Yah, shaped by both the traditions of the South and the influences of the North. As a baby boomer, I have been blessed by the grace of Yah. Raised in a strong Baptist tradition, I grew up with a deep awareness of my Heavenly Father, AbbaYah. My relationship with Yah has been a constant in my life even while living in rebellion. It was twelve years ago that I began to embrace a Set-Apart lifestyle.
I was a product of the 60s, 70s, and early 80s—a period marked by radical cultural shifts. I became involved in various secular pursuits, particularly those related to what was then a widespread rise in sexual promiscuity. I dabbled in drugs, embraced New Age philosophies, and sought after practices such as astrology, tarot cards, crystal wearing, and Reiki. Like the Israelites who ignored the warnings of Yahuah against adopting these practices, I clung to them, furthering my disobedience while not taking into consideration any consequences that would result.
I vividly recall the moment I turned away from Yah—when I closed my Bible, climbed into my car, and drove toward a life that would ultimately lead me to destruction. I embraced a homosexual lifestyle, and with it came the inevitable chains of addiction: drugs, alcohol, and more indulgence in worldly pleasures. Alcohol and drugs, as is often the case, took precedence in my life.
I now recognize my past for what it was: a manifestation of unrighteousness, as described in Romans 1:18-32. In His mercy, AbbaYah turned me over to a reprobate mind, where I died a spiritual death. 1 John 2:15-16 sums it up succinctly: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, which is not of the Father, but is of the world.” I pause here to give thanks to AbbaYah for not turning me over to a physical death on several occasions.
Despite this descent into darkness, I have always been someone people felt comfortable confiding in. I was often the one to whom others turned to with their most difficult burdens. Though I never understood why, even back then, I found comfort, offering solace to those in need. However, as my own life progressed, I realized that the counsel I offered lacked depth. While I had always known Yahuah and His Son Yahusha, I found that I was providing worldly advice, rather than sharing the wisdom of the Scriptures.
But then, by the grace and mercy of Abba Yah, He called me back into obedience. Like a dormant seed, I was revived by His Ruach (Spirit) and repented of my sins, asking for forgiveness. In time, I came to understand the Holy Spirit—Ruach haQodesh—and the relationship that Yahuah sought to restore in me. This spiritual awakening led me to receive the infilling of His Spirit, and from that moment, I never looked back.
Though I was raised in a Baptist family regarded as pillars in the church and community, my upbringing was not without its struggles. There were hidden wounds within my family that led me to feel isolated and neglected, especially as the youngest of two brothers. I was exposed to the darkness of alcohol, drugs, and sexual immorality at a young age, and lacking proper nurturing, I became vulnerable to a life of rebellion. Satan prowls the earth seeking to destroy the wounded soul (1 Peter 5:8), and my open wounds became gateways for the enemy to establish strongholds in my life.
When AbbaYah accepted me back into His embrace, I made a promise to dedicate myself to learning and growing in Him, just as I had once devoted myself to the ways of the world. One day, as I was reading the Scriptures, I was struck by the words of Isaiah 61:1-2: “The Spirit of Elohim Yahuah is upon me; because Yahuah has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of Yahuah, and the day of vengeance of our Elohim; to comfort all that mourn.”
The words of this passage awakened me to the proper knowledge of Yahusha deep within my spirit. Later as I studied more I was lead and awakened to Luke 4:18-19, a prophecy given in Isaiah and fulfilled in 61:1-2: “The Spirit of Yahuah is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of Yahuah.”
These Scriptures were not merely a revelation; they became my calling. Yahusha, the Messiah, had come to set me free from the strongholds that once bound me. I clung to those verses because they had become alive in my life as a servant in Messiah.
As I continued my journey, I came across Luke 12:48, which served as a reminder of the responsibility that comes with knowledge and calling: “But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
This renewal led me to pursue further education. I earned a Master’s degree in Biblical Studies, Theology, and Pastoral Counseling. Yet counseling was not my initial desire. Despite my academic achievements, something remained unsettled within my soul.
During this time, I began praying and ministering to others on a deeper spiritual level. Many people confessed their sins to me, and it became clear that, though I had repented, I had not fully confessed my own. 1 John 1:9 assures us that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Romans 10:10 further confirms, “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
My confession did not come easily because, like Adam and Eve, I hid behind the stronghold of fear and shame. However, through confession, my chains of spiritual enslavement were broken. The strongholds that once held me captive dissipated by the grace of AbbaYah and the power of the Ruach haQodesh. Salvation became mine.
On that day, the words of Psalm 119:81 became a living reality: “My soul longs for Your salvation; I hope in Your word.” AbbaYah healed the brokenness in my heart and spirit, binding me with His unfailing love. I came to realize that, like a prisoner in a cell with the door wide open, I had the power to step into freedom by accepting His outstretched hand.
Soon after this transformation, AbbaYah placed someone in my life who helped me begin the process of soul healing. Our connection was divinely orchestrated. Together, we sought the healing that we all desperately needed. Shortly afterwards, Compassionate Soul Care Ministry (CSCM) was born.
As I continue to abide in Yahuah and follow His guidance, Compassionate Soul Care Ministry (CSCM) operates on the principles found in Isaiah 61:1 and Psalms 119:81. We work with individuals battling strongholds and overcoming various struggles, such as substance abuse, homosexuality, marital issues, depression, grief, anxiety, trauma, and stress-related disorders. We believe that these struggles, in one form or another, are rooted in humankind’s fall into sin and can be overcome through the transformative power of the Gospel of Yahusha and the love of Yahuah.
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