CSCM Founder’s Testimony

Southern-born, southern and northern raised. I am a baby-boomer blessed of Yah. I came up trained in strong Baptist principles. Having a grandfather whose name is etched in the cornerstone of a currently thriving church I have always known my Heavenly Father AbbaYah who until 7 years ago I called God.

In my youth, I lived as a radical child of the 60s, 70s, and early 80s. I engaged in all things secular. During this era, sexual promiscuity was at a zenith, along with drugs, New Age philosophies (astrology, tarot cards, crystal wearing, Reiki), and defiance of all things righteous. With a desire for all things secular, like the warnings were given to Israel as they lived among pagans with warnings not to partake of their ways, I turned from following Yah and gyrated towards living in disobedience. I remember the day well. I lived a homosexual lifestyle, and with that lifestyle, as is often the case, came drugs, alcohol, and all things mentioned above.

I was all things unrighteous as defined in Romans 1:18-32. and because of my disobedience AbbaYah turned me over to a reprobate mind. 1 John 2:16 describes it in short verse, “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” But let me slow down a little.

People have always found it easy to talk to me. Also, I seemed never much surprised at what they told me. Not understanding why people saw me in this light nevertheless gave me a sense of satisfaction that I was able for the most part to offer them some level of comfort. This has continued throughout my life. A noticeable difference occurred in that as I experienced life more, the less I was able to give soul-level responses. It was as if biblical wisdom had seeped from my soul and replaced with worldly advice. However, by the grace and mercy of AbbaYah, He called me to obedience.  Like a perennial flower being dormant in darkness for years AbbaYah breathes His restoring Ruach into me. I repented and asked for forgiveness of my sins. Sometimes later, after learning about the Ruach haQodesh, who he was, and the relationship he wanted to establish with me I was gifted with his Spirit. I’ve never looked back.

Though I was a member of what appeared to be a strong Baptist family, like many families it was not free of its skeletons. Some of the skeletons resulted in me spending many hours in isolation, not good for a girl child not yet 7 years old. I was the youngest of two brothers who themselves were being influenced by the wiles of darkness. I followed them into alcohol, drugs, and sexual immorality. Lack of direction, hurt and neglect opened doors that further led to anger, and eventually rebellion. These open doors became strongholds, like Satan, having already established his plan of destruction within with my family found it easy to anchor himself in me as I remained influenced by his whispers of deception. Some of you reading this identity with my words.

When AbbaYah accepted me back to Him, my promise was to put equal or more of myself into learning and growing in Him as I did the ways of the world. One day while reading Scripture, my eyes clung to Isaiah 61:1-2, “The Spirit of Elohim Yahuah is upon me; because Yahuah has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of Yahuah, and the day of vengeance of our Elohim; to comfort all that mourn,” an awakening chill came over me.

Then I see a reference to this verse:

Luke 4:18-19, “The Spirit of Yahuah is upon me because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of Yahuah.”

I knew this was for me. Yahusha was telling me He had come to set me free of my strongholds. I cleave to these verses.

Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Not long after, I began master’s level theological studies. Still, I had not considered counseling as something I wanted to pursue even as I took counseling courses as part of my divinity studies. AbbaYah was waiting for my confession. I had repented of my sins but had not confessed them. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). For with the heart, man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation (Romans 10:10). When I finally confessed, my psychological chains of spiritual enslavement were broken, the open doors of sin shut, and by the grace and mercy of my Heavenly Father AbbaYah and the Ruach haQodesh the strongholds began to dissipate.

The good tidings came on the day He made those words come alive within my soul, as it began to long for His salvation, “My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word” (Psalms 199:81). Yahuah bound up the brokenness of my heart and spirit with love for Him and myself. He let me know I was no longer captive to those things that kept me from Him. I was bound and blind by sin and deception. I like to describe it as being in jail with the doors open, not realizing I had the power to take His outstretched hand and walk away from the bondage of death.

Father Yah immediately put someone in my life with whom I was able to begin soul healing. As it turned out we all needed healing. Yah put us in one another’s lives at the perfect time. A fellow servant in Yah unaware of what I was doing asked if I would talk with someone. I said yes, and the rest is history. Yah knew His plans for me and here I am.

As I abide in Yahuah and follow His lead Compassionate Soul Care Ministry works from the message of Isaiah 61:1 and Luke 4:18. We work with adults whose concerns are substance abuse, homosexuality, marriage counseling, depression, grief, rejection, guilt, shame, anxiety, trauma, and stress-related disorders with the belief that all of these conditions are one way or the other (see Beliefs) are connected to humankind’s fall into fall to sin and are related to the above categories in one fashion and depth or another.