Blog Post by Sister Diane Foster
Part 2
A Narcissist Has Very Few True Healthy Relationship Attachments in Their Life Because They Are Quick to Cut Off People Who Do Not Serve Them
To have healthy relationships, you must form healthy attachments. When someone has the ability to just cut off anyone from their life at any time, this is often a sign of narcissism because when you are obsessed with yourself you don’t mind losing relationships with people who you feel no longer serve you. For as Philippians 2:3-4 states:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
A narcissist will do the opposite of this, not considering others and not making healthy commitments that benefit people besides themselves.
A Narcissist Is Painfully Insecure and Thus Searches for Compliments Constantly
While narcissists are prideful and believe they are better than others, they do not possess a strong identity and are thus always hunting for affirmation from others because of their deep insecurities. You can always spot a narcissist because they are the ones who are craving earthly praise.
As Romans 2:29 (NLT) states, “And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by the Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from Yahuah, not from people.”
A Narcissist Will Often Be Marked By False Humility, Especially When They Claim to Be a Believer
Rather than truly be humble, a narcissist will try to portray themselves as humble to actually gain more praise from people. Narcissist hunt for adoration and praise and then try to pretend like they are just a humble servant doing their job. But they reveal their true character when they refuse to serve unless other people praise them for it and by telling everyone how much they have done for Yahuah. As Yahusha said in Matthew 6:2-4:
Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
A Narcissist Is Often a Compulsive Liar
Do you remember how the chief priests lied about Yahusha to Pilate in order to get him killed? Why did these religious men accuse Yahusha with lies upon lies? In Mark 15:10 we see that Pilate knew their true motivation, “For he perceived that it was out of envy that the chief priests had delivered him up.” Likewise, people who refuse to accept that Yahusha is the center of the story and not themselves will be compulsive liars.
A Narcissist Will Ultimately End Up Mad at Yahuah Because They Will Feel Yahuah Is Supposed to Serve Them But Yahuah Won’t Do This
Eventually, Yahuah will put every narcissist in his or her place. The root issue in the heart of someone who struggles with narcissism is that they want to be Yahuah themselves. They want the one true Yahuah to use his power to serve them. But Yahuah will never do this, and those who seek to serve themselves always reap what they sow. Thus, one sign of all narcissistic people is that eventually, they get mad at Yahuah because he will not do what they want.
May we remember the humble words of our Lord and Savior Yahusha in John 8:50, “Yet I do not seek my own glory; there is One who seeks it, and he is the judge.”
Examples of Narcissist in the Bible:
- Nebuchadnezzar didn’t acknowledge Yah. Daniel 4:28-31
- King Herod refused to give Yahuah the glory. Acts 12:23
- Pharisees made their own man-made laws. Matthew chapters 22: 24
Can Narcissist Change?
They can but they must make a conscious decision. It boils down to free will. Yah can put situations in their lives that could bring them to change but it is still up to them to make the change.
Confrontation brings exposure and can cut to their hearts. But it could be dangerous.
What can be Learned from Having an Experience with a Narcissist?
They are fault finders, if we are humble and teachable, we can learn of our faults from them. Their assessment of us may not be wrong. They are wired to other people’s thoughts. We all have character faults and defects but not to the degree of the narcissist. Strange as it seems, they can actually help us grow into s self-awareness. But this is not meant for the victim to become a doorknob or freely thrown under the bus. We can learn how to deal with them better as we become cognizant of their tactics of manipulation even with any justified flaws they see in us. For instance, a narcissist may be correct in calling the other person prideful. However, rather than internalizing the flaw, pray and seek Yah for guidance to repentant of the character defect and grow stronger in your walk with Him.
They can help us become less desensitized about what you think people say about you. They are verbal abuse roller coasters; this is training in helping your emotions by not allowing someone else to affect you with their harsh words.
Training in learning how-to walk-in peace. By your patience you heal your soul.
Going beyond my limits to taking the insults or negativity of others. In other words, gaining strength in enlarge your capacity simply because of what you have gone through.
Being discarded can generate training to help you look for love and comfort in Yahuah. Seek Him for inner strength. David’s men discarded him. [1]
How Yahuah Protect Those Who Have Been Mentally Abused by a Narcissist
Yahuah Will Seek to Rebuild Your Self-Worth By Strengthening Your Identity in Yahusha
A narcissist will use mental warfare on you to make you feel like you are the one being selfish and inconsiderate anytime you focus on yourself rather than on them. Their goal is to break you down, so you have such a low view of yourself you feel you’re only valuable when you are making the narcissist happy. You are not what the narcissist said you are. You are who Yahuah says you are. 1 John 3:1 state, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of Yahuah; and so we are.” Yahuah will rebuild you by helping you to fully accept who you truly are in Yahusha.[2]
God Will Show You That He Is Actually the Center of All Things, Not the Narcissist Who Mentally Abused You
As we just said in point 1, we have to be careful that in our journey after being mentally abused by a narcissist we do not try to find healing by elevating ourselves above everyone and everything else. You are valuable beyond belief, but no human is the center of the story. God alone is the center of all things, so the Lord will help you recover after mental abuse by a narcissist by showing you the truth – that this narcissist is not the most important person, you are not the most important person, God alone is the most important person. As Isaiah 42:6-9 teaches us:
I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.”[3]
Yahuah Will Give You Wisdom on How to Deal with This Narcissistic Person Now
Each relationship that involves a narcissist will have unique variables in it, therefore it is impossible to give a one-size-fits all approach for everyone who has been hurt by a narcissist. For example, if your boyfriend or girlfriend has mentally abused you because they are a narcissist, you should break up with them and not speak with them again because they are not showing the biblical qualities needed for marriage and thus dating them serves no biblical purpose.[4]
Yahuah Will Give You a Righteous Anger and Supernatural Grace Towards a Narcissist Who Mentally Abused You
While each situation dealing with a narcissist will be unique, there are a few things Yahuah will lead all Believers to do if they have been mentally abused by a narcissist.
One, you should feel a righteous anger towards those who have abused you and sinned against you. Ephesians 4:26-27 states, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.” It’s right to be angry at times, but we must not sin in our anger or else we are allowing the devil a foothold in our own lives.[5]
God Will Give You Insights to Help Other People Avoid the Abuse You Endured
One of the ways Yah protects us is through other people. There are people in the world who want to hurt you and there are people in the world who want to help you. Once you’ve been hurt by a certain type of person and learned valuable lessons, you now have the obligation as a Believer to help others with this knowledge you have and to expose evil when possible. In 2 Timothy 4:14-15 Paul wanted Timothy:
Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Yahuah will repay him according to his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message.”[6]
Yahuah Will Judge That Narcissistic Person for the Sins They Committed and Deal with Them in His Perfect Way
If you’ve ever been abused in any way, Yah wants you to know that no one is getting away with anything. All sin will be dealt with. If that person does not repent and does not seek Yahuah’s grace through Jesus, that person will reap what they sowed and endure a punishment that is worse than anything our human minds can fathom. So, either way, we know Yahuah will deal with narcissistic abusers in his perfect way. As 2 Peter 3:7-10 states:
But by the same word the heavens and earth that now exist are stored up for fire, being kept until the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.[7]
You are More Than a Conqueror
Yahuah’s Everlasting Love
What shall we then say to these things? If Yah be for us, who can be against us?
He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay anything to the charge of Yah’s elect? It is Yah that justifies. Who is He that condemns? It is Messiah that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of Yahuah, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Messiah? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of Yah, which is in Yahusah our Messiah. Romans 8:31-39
Endnotes
[1] (2) Why God may have You in a Relationship with a Narcissist – YouTube
[2] 6 Things God Will Do If You’ve Been Mentally Abused By a Narcissist | ApplyGodsWord.com
[3] Ibid.,
[4] Ibid.,
[5] Ibid.,
[6] Ibid.,
[7] Ibid.,
